Ahhhhhh, live television.

Gotta love sticking your foot in your mouth!

Here are comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they
would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up
and it was amazing.

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and
I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her
mother.

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents,
especially my mother and father.

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even
some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that
serious.

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should
think we can expect the same thing again.

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the
opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all
over their faces.

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the
wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the
British crew.

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing
so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes
out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I
just said?'

Church Wars

I'm a Halloweenie!

I love Halloween!! It's my fav-o-rite holiday! Must have sumpthing to do with my love of cheezy horror movies and fascination with serial killers and my general dark side. Not sure where I get it, but I know my youngest man-baby, The Angry Youth, has it too! I'm pretty sure he gets it from his mama.

I've pimped-out this blog-ger-ific site to all things Halloweenie!! I do want to mention that I got alot of my pimp stuff at satanspace.com, not because I worship the evil one(I'm dark, but not that dark!), but they have some really cool stuff! If you are into that kinda stuff.

Don't get the wrong idea about me, I'm very normal. I like pink and lacey, frilly things. My house isn't a Gothic tribute to Dracula. I love "happy endings", Barbie's (the doll and Katie's neighbor!), puppies, babies, and cotton candy! See.....normal.

If wishing you could dress up for Halloween as a tranny, dressed up as a cross between Dolly Parton and Pam Anderson and call yourself Dollisha Panderson is normal......then that's me! Totally normal.

Don't be skerd.



Myspace Banner Generator @ JellyMuffin.com

The Nun in Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local
Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every
once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into
cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the
restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a
statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,'
said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place
stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why
did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would
you like a drink?'

'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled
nun. 'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts
the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?'

A very, very un-birthday to me, but not HP!

Today is my darling Mr. Horsepower's birthday! I told him he was old, but he's still just a young pup! How young you ask? Well, let's just say he's closer in age to my oldest man-baby than he is to me. What can I say, I like 'em that way! Dang cradle robber! Not a cougar, that just sounds icky.

I think birthdays are bitchen!! They are "your" on special day! I mean, everyone has Christmas, (or Haunaka if the dradel fits), and Halloween and even Arbor Day, but not everyone has the same birthday. I think birthdays should be "all about you"! And you should be worshiped by your loved ones for the "gifts that you are!" Thank you cazy Paula. Who would we talk about if we didn't have you?!

So Happy Birthday my beautiful husband! You are amazing! You are a friend and father to the man-babies, you work hard for us everyday and never complain, and your kisses still make me weak in the knees! I'm so glad it's your birthday and I have a reason to sing your praises! In a word, "YOU ROCK!"

Guess that was really two.......I love you, Baby.