Hello my lil chickens! My mom used to call us chickens, so it's not bad. I promise. It'll only require a small amount of therapy.
Today I will not mention fabulous shoes or the fabulous concert I will be attending with my most lovely sister, both of those things have been covered today. Today I will be talking about the diet that I MUST go on. I'm ever so excited. Do you feel it? Oh yeah, baby! I know you do!
Last night after a hard day of getting my hair done and shopping at the Wal-Mart, oh yeah, guess who I ran into outside the Wal-Mart? My youngest man-baby!! He looks so handsome in his Capt. Spaulding t-shirt and his hair in his eyes! My beautiful baby! He let me hug him and give him 20 dollars. I was sooo happy it was like Christmas and my birthday and summer vacation all together! Anyway, he had important stuff to do, like add to his japanime video collection, or something, so off he went. Followed by many "I love you's" and "Don't forget to call your mother's" and "Find a nice girl that likes vampire books and Harry Potter role-playing games". You think I'm kidding about the last one, don't you?
Anywho, after such a trying day, Mr. Horsepower took me out to eat dinner because he felt so bad that I had to live under such stressful conditions. Isn't he sweet?! Yep, I know. We went to Famous Dave's and had the "garbage lid" dinner. We also had margaritas, beer and a bread pudding. As I was shoveling desert in my mouth, like I had never tasted the likes of such sweet confections, I realized that this has got to stop! No really! Like now! I've put on 15 lbs in the year and half I've been married. Summer is coming and my good friend Miss P has a pool, and pool parties, requiring me to unleash these chunka lunka thighs! My bottom has more dimples than kindergarten class photograph! Make the madness stop!!!!!!!!!!!
So now is the time when I share my plan with you, my trusted, faithful chickens! I figure if I tell you all that I am going on a diet and I make weekly postings, it will force me to loose the extra poundage, if only from sheer embarrassment at posting it a site for all to see!! There IS the method to my madness! I need the love and support and diet tips, ways to sew my mouth shut, how to make water taste like a steak and mashed potatoes, from my friends! I'm counting on you all to make this easier for me. Thank you.
So look forward to the fatness on Monday! Hopefully every week it will be a little less! I promise not to show pictures of my chub. Don't be skerd! I will however, show pictures of the scale. What?? I must be crazy!!
And how.
4 comments:
I can give you all the advice you'll need, but isn't a bit hypocritical if I'm not taking my own advice? I WILL, however, give you a ton of support and good thoughts from up here!
First, I don't ever remember mom calling us "chickens." Must of just been you and Beau.
I'm glad your baby "let" you give him $20. What a good son. :-) And I know that he needs his own little Hermione (or Jenny, I guess).
I've seriously contemplated putting a weightloss attempt online, but then I realized it would probably just be the same numbers week after week, and baby, that ain't good. But if it will help YOU, then I fully support you. And I promise not to bring any of Pioneer Woman's chocolate cake to any family parties.
Yes, you are crazy. But it runs in the fam damily, so I'm not scared. In fact, we like to bring our crazies down from the attic and show 'em off!
And how!
PS. If you find out how to make water taste like steak and potatoes, be sure to share with the rest of us!
You go girl. Here is my advice...be diagnosed with Celiac disease. It worked for me, 30 lbs. Just like that. Oh wait, do you want to know the bad part? No? Alright then. Carry on little chicken.
I say you're living the dream at 125lbs...the dream baby! That's not even in my realm of reality.
I am currently counting calories, and am actually losing weight nicely but there's NO WAY IN HELL I'm posting the numbers on the scale.
You're a brave and secure lady!
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